24 Regrets of People Who Are Dying, Matthew Kelly

As people approach the end of their lives, they often reflect on their choices and experiences. The question arises: What do people regret most when they are dying? To find answers, I consulted hospice nurses, who have witnessed countless individuals in their final moments. Their insights reveal the 24 most common regrets people have as they face death.

One of the most recurring regrets is wishing they had the courage to be their true selves, free from the pressures to conform. Many express a deep longing for more time spent with loved ones, realizing too late that relationships, not achievements, are what truly matter. Some wish they had prioritized their spiritual lives more, while others regret dedicating so much of their time to work instead of meaningful pursuits. Discovering one’s purpose earlier in life is another regret, as is the failure to fully express emotions, which could have led to deeper connections.

People also regret wasting time worrying about things that never actually happened. They wish they had taken more risks, cared less about what others thought, and understood earlier that happiness is a choice they could make for themselves. Love is a powerful theme, as many wish they had loved more openly and taken better care of themselves physically and mentally. Regrets about relationships surface frequently—whether it’s not being a better spouse or letting others’ expectations guide their life decisions.

A common regret involves careers—people wish they had left unfulfilling jobs in search of work that truly brought them joy. Many also lament losing touch with old friends and regret not speaking their minds when it mattered. Time spent chasing unimportant goals leaves some feeling that their energy was wasted, while others wish they had more children or had a greater impact on the lives of those around them. The big existential questions of life often went unconsidered until too late, and many express a desire to have traveled more or lived more fully in the moment. Finally, unfulfilled dreams are a common source of regret as people realize they let fear or practical concerns stand in the way of their aspirations.

These regrets come from individuals who no longer have the luxury of time. Some may view contemplating death as morbid, but in reality, it serves as a powerful reminder of what truly matters. Thinking about the inevitability of death can be a healthy exercise, one that encourages us to focus on living life to its fullest. Rather than waiting until the end to reflect, we can use the wisdom of those at life’s end to inspire us to live with purpose, love, and fulfillment while we still have the chance.

These reflections on regret are more than just insights from the dying—they serve as a wake-up call for the living. They challenge us to reassess our lives and make conscious choices before it’s too late. Instead of waiting for a crisis or for time to slip away, we can start today by focusing on what truly matters.

For instance, the regret of not being true to oneself urges us to shed societal pressures and embrace authenticity. By learning to live according to our values and beliefs rather than the expectations of others, we can find greater peace and fulfillment. The realization that relationships outweigh material success teaches us to prioritize the people we love—our families, friends, and communities. In the end, it’s the memories we create with them that endure, not the long hours spent at work or chasing after the next promotion.

Another profound regret is failing to address life’s spiritual dimension. Whether it’s through faith, mindfulness, or personal reflection, nurturing the soul helps us find meaning and purpose in the everyday. And, of course, there’s the regret of not taking enough risks—of playing it safe instead of pursuing passions or stepping into the unknown. Risk may involve failure, but it also offers the possibility of growth, adventure, and profound rewards.

The regret of worrying too much about what others think highlights the freedom that comes when we let go of the need for approval. True happiness, as many regret not realizing sooner, comes from within. It’s a choice we can make every day, regardless of circumstances. Choosing love, whether for others or ourselves, helps us live more compassionately and with fewer regrets down the road.

As people approach death, they often wish they had lived in the moment, appreciating the present rather than fixating on the past or future. Living mindfully—being fully present—allows us to experience life’s richness and beauty as it unfolds. Similarly, the desire to travel more speaks to the importance of expanding our horizons and collecting experiences, not just possessions. These wishes remind us that life is about the journey, not the destination.

Perhaps the most poignant regrets come from missed opportunities—dreams left unpursued, passions untapped, relationships left unresolved. By confronting these potential regrets now, we can make intentional changes to ensure that our lives are more aligned with what truly matters. It’s never too late to start living with purpose, passion, and intention.

Ultimately, contemplating the regrets of the dying offers us a powerful lesson: death is inevitable, but a life well lived is a choice. If we start acting on these lessons today, we can reduce the chances of looking back with sorrow and instead face the end of our lives with a sense of fulfillment, knowing we lived fully and authentically. The awareness of death should inspire us to get busy living, embracing the things that truly bring joy, meaning, and connection into our lives.

Reflecting on the regrets of those nearing the end of their lives serves as a potent reminder of the power we have to shape our own stories. These regrets aren’t just cautionary tales; they are insights into the human condition, revealing the universal desires for love, purpose, and fulfillment that too often get overshadowed by the demands and distractions of daily life.

The most common regrets stem from a lack of alignment between our true desires and the lives we actually lead. Many people, especially in their younger years, focus heavily on work, success, and meeting external expectations. But as time passes, the realization dawns that personal joy, meaningful relationships, and inner peace hold far more value. This shift in perspective is something we can embrace now, long before we reach our final days.

One of the most important takeaways is that life’s meaning is found in the present moment. We tend to chase after distant goals, thinking that happiness lies in the next achievement, promotion, or acquisition. But as those nearing the end of their journey reflect, they often realize that the greatest joys come from the simple moments—the laughter shared with a friend, the quiet sunrise, the moments of connection with loved ones. By living more mindfully, we can appreciate the beauty that already surrounds us.

Another common regret centers on the pursuit of dreams. Many people look back and wish they had chased their passions more boldly. Whether it’s a career change, a creative endeavor, or an adventurous goal, the fear of failure or the comfort of routine often prevents people from taking that leap. But as these regrets show, the real failure is in not trying at all. The courage to pursue our dreams is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.

Furthermore, the desire to impact others—to touch more lives and leave a meaningful legacy—shows that fulfillment often comes from the connections we make and the difference we create. It’s not about grand gestures but the small acts of kindness, support, and love that ripple outward. Being more intentional about helping others, sharing our wisdom, and being present for those in need can lead to a deep sense of purpose.

At the heart of many regrets is the feeling of not living authentically—not being true to oneself or speaking one’s mind. The courage to be unapologetically ourselves allows us to live a life free from the constraints of others’ expectations. This authenticity fosters deeper, more genuine relationships and a sense of inner peace that comes from knowing we are living in alignment with our true selves.

In the end, the regrets of the dying offer a profound lesson: time is finite, but how we use it is within our control. We can choose to live with intention, to pursue what truly matters, and to let go of the fears, expectations, and distractions that lead to regret. By embracing these lessons now, we can create lives filled with love, purpose, and fulfillment—lives we can look back on with pride, knowing we lived fully and authentically.

Each day is an opportunity to make changes, to focus on what truly matters, and to live in a way that minimizes regret. Whether it’s spending more time with loved ones, pursuing long-held dreams, or simply taking better care of ourselves, the time to act is now. Let the wisdom of those who have faced the end inspire us to live with greater intention, purpose, and joy, making the most of the precious time we have.