40 Brutal Truths I Wish I Knew in My 20s

Want to get rich faster? Here’s what I wish I knew while building my first software company in my 20s. I’m 44 now, but I’ve been where you are. Trying to figure it out, make money, and not screw up along the way. If I could talk to my 20-year-old self and give him some advice on how to get rich a lot faster. There’re 40 hard-learned lessons, I’d want him to know.

At the time of this recording, I’m 44 years old, and if I could go back and give my 20-year-old self advice on how to get rich faster, here’s what I’d say. First, don’t make the mistake of becoming good at something you hate. When I started out, I thought I had to be great at everything, but it turns out if you dislike something, you don’t have to master it. Instead, get good at what you love and pay someone else to do what you don’t enjoy. Next, go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. If you take anything from this video, know that being consistent with your sleep will solve most of your problems. Over time, this discipline compounds into greatness.

Your body is the only one you have, so take care of it. When you’re healthy, you have a thousand dreams, but when you’re sick, you only have one: to get better. Most people treat their bodies like beat-up cars when it’s more like a million-dollar thoroughbred. If you have energy and focus, you’ll outpace everyone. Also, stay close to people who want more for you, not from you. I grew up surrounded by energy vampires who constantly took from me without giving anything back. Once I cleaned up my circle and surrounded myself with people who pushed me and cheered me on, my life changed.

Normalize leaving people in whatever reality they’ve chosen. I used to argue with people who didn’t see life the way I did, but I realized it’s better to invest my energy in my own growth. Sometimes, those same people come back later, asking how I did it. Being humble isn’t about thinking less of yourself; it’s about thinking of yourself less. Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance, but the truth is that by being confident and focused, you can help others without shrinking to make them comfortable.

You get tested the most when it’s time to level up. Whenever I’ve been on the verge of a breakthrough, something always happens to test me, whether it’s getting sick or facing a personal challenge. These tests are opportunities to prove to myself that I really want what I’m striving for. Improving yourself daily is the only addiction you need. Just aim to be 1% better every day, and if you slip, give yourself grace. It’s the consistent pursuit of growth that will change your life.

Teach people how to treat you. If you don’t set boundaries, people will continue to act in ways that frustrate you. Communicate your standards from the start, and people will adjust. It’s better to admit you walked through the wrong door than to stay in the wrong room for too long. Whether it’s a city, job, or friend group, don’t be afraid to move on when something no longer serves you. If you’re waiting for a sign, that’s the sign itself. Often, rock bottom is where you find the strength to rise because that’s when you realize you’re standing on solid ground.

Nothing you’ve gone through has made you weaker. The challenges you’ve faced have only made you stronger and more resilient. Everything you want will come when you stop chasing it. The person who needs nothing from others holds the most power. To be successful, you must be willing to be misunderstood for long periods. When your vision is bigger than what others can comprehend, they won’t understand why you’re doing what you’re doing. But when you win, they’ll claim they always knew you could do it.

When things get easy, go hard. Don’t rest when you’ve achieved some success—push even harder, like you did when you had nothing. Only take advice from people who have been where you want to go. If they haven’t achieved what you’re aiming for, their advice will likely be flawed. And remember, “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t need to explain yourself. Saying no today can mean saying yes to your future.

Never dim your light to make others comfortable. If being yourself is too much for someone else, then let them go find less. Have a clear aim for your life, and let that purpose drive you forward. It will fuel your motivation and keep you focused on the bigger picture. Stop reading books just to say you’ve read them. Study them, apply the lessons, and teach others. That’s how you truly learn and grow.

Always assume positive intent. If someone cuts you off in traffic, assume they’re in a rush for an important reason. This mindset keeps you from overreacting and staying focused on what matters. Put your own mask on first before helping others. You need to take care of yourself and get the resources you need before you can truly help anyone else.

Look for problems to solve, don’t avoid them. The bigger the problems you tackle, the bigger your life will become. Your new life will cost you your old one. To move forward, you have to be willing to let go of old habits, people, and environments. Confidence comes from keeping the promises you make to yourself, especially the ones no one else sees. Dedicate a decade, not a day, to your goals, and the world will bend in your favor.

Treat others the way you want to be treated, and acknowledge them when they do something great. A kind word at the right time can change someone’s life. If you keep running into bad people, maybe the problem is you. Avoid drama and gossip at all costs—high-level people don’t waste their energy on negativity.

Fear gives bad advice, so don’t trust it when you’re in a dark moment. Seek guidance from others when fear clouds your judgment. It’s never too late to change. No matter your age, today can be the day you start fresh. Get rid of your vices and make space for the life you want. If you’re addicted to your phone, it’s a sign your life isn’t interesting enough. Find hobbies and activities that scare you a little—they’re much more exciting than social media.

Take on as much responsibility as you can. Say yes to opportunities that help you grow, and eventually, you’ll become the go-to person for exciting projects. Don’t blame anyone else for your circumstances. The moment you do, you lose control. Accept full responsibility for your life, and you’ll unlock the ability to move forward. Be blissfully dissatisfied with where you are. Be grateful for what you have, but always strive for more.

Make time for what matters. If your family or friends are important to you, show it by prioritizing them in your schedule. Respect comes from admiration, not fear. Look up to people who are givers and who challenge you to be better, not those who wield power through intimidation. Life is a mirror, not a window. Stop comparing yourself to others, and focus on improving yourself. When you change, everything around you will change too.

Forty-first, learn to forgive quickly, especially yourself. Holding onto guilt, shame, or anger only drains your energy and keeps you stuck in the past. Everyone makes mistakes—what matters is how you recover and move forward. Forty-second, don’t underestimate the power of your network. Who you surround yourself with has a massive impact on your mindset and success. Spend time with people who inspire you to grow, and don’t be afraid to seek out mentors who are where you want to be.

Forty-third, take calculated risks. Playing it safe all the time won’t lead to extraordinary success. Step out of your comfort zone and take risks that align with your vision. You’ll either win or learn, but you’ll never lose by trying. Forty-fourth, prioritize experiences over things. The joy from material possessions fades, but experiences and the memories they create last a lifetime. Invest in creating unforgettable moments with the people you care about.

Forty-fifth, learn to say “thank you” more often. Gratitude is a powerful practice that not only lifts your spirits but also strengthens relationships. A simple thank you can brighten someone’s day and build trust and loyalty. Forty-sixth, don’t confuse busyness with productivity. Just because you’re doing a lot doesn’t mean you’re getting important things done. Focus on what truly moves the needle in your life and career.

Forty-seventh, let go of perfectionism. Waiting for things to be perfect before taking action will only lead to procrastination. It’s better to start messy and improve along the way. Perfectionism is often just a form of fear disguised as high standards. Forty-eighth, give more than you take. In business, relationships, and life, focus on adding value. The more you give, the more you’ll receive in the long run, whether it’s opportunities, connections, or fulfillment.

Forty-ninth, master the art of listening. Most people listen to respond, not to understand. Being a good listener helps you build deeper relationships, gain new perspectives, and make better decisions. Sometimes, all someone needs is to feel heard. Fiftieth, invest in personal development every single day. Whether it’s reading, attending seminars, or practicing a new skill, never stop learning. Continuous growth is the key to staying relevant and achieving long-term success.

Fifty-first, learn to manage your money early. It’s not about how much you make; it’s about how much you keep and grow. Start investing as soon as you can, understand how to budget, and avoid lifestyle inflation. The sooner you take control of your finances, the more freedom you’ll have in the future. Fifty-second, comparison is the thief of joy. It’s easy to look at others and feel like you’re not doing enough, but everyone’s journey is different. Focus on your own progress and celebrate your wins, no matter how small.

Fifty-third, be kind to yourself. Self-compassion is essential for resilience. You’ll have setbacks and failures, but how you talk to yourself during tough times matters. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Fifty-fourth, embrace failure. Every failure brings you closer to success. The most successful people have failed more times than others have even tried. Use each failure as a lesson and a stepping stone to something greater.

Fifty-fifth, protect your peace. Not every battle is worth fighting, and not every situation deserves your energy. Learn to say no, set boundaries, and walk away from negativity. Fifty-sixth, stay curious. Never lose your sense of wonder and your desire to learn new things. Curiosity keeps you young, opens doors to new opportunities, and fuels creativity.

Fifty-seventh, relationships are everything. Your success will be influenced as much by your ability to build and nurture relationships as by your skills and knowledge. People remember how you make them feel, so always aim to lift others up. Fifty-eighth, don’t wait for perfect conditions to start. There’s no such thing as the “perfect time.” Start where you are with what you have, and the path will become clearer as you move forward.

Fifty-ninth, take care of your mental health. Just as you exercise your body, make sure you’re maintaining your mental well-being. Whether it’s through meditation, therapy, or time spent with loved ones, prioritize practices that keep your mind clear and healthy. Sixtieth, be adaptable. Life will throw curveballs, and the ability to pivot and adjust without losing your momentum is crucial for success.

Sixty-first, time is your most valuable asset. Once it’s gone, you can’t get it back. Be intentional about how you spend your time, and make sure you’re investing it in things that matter to you. Sixty-second, stop chasing validation from others. The only approval you need is your own. When you stop living for other people’s expectations, you free yourself to live authentically.

Sixty-third, take ownership of everything in your life. Whether it’s your career, relationships, or health, you are responsible for the outcomes. Blaming others or making excuses only holds you back. Sixty-fourth, success is a marathon, not a sprint. Be patient with yourself and trust the process. Great things take time to build, and consistency is key.

Sixty-fifth, celebrate your wins, big or small. It’s easy to get caught up in always striving for the next goal, but take time to acknowledge your achievements and enjoy the journey. Sixty-sixth, don’t let fear dictate your choices. Fear is often just a signal that you’re about to do something outside your comfort zone. Lean into it and watch yourself grow.

Sixty-seventh, your thoughts shape your reality. What you focus on expands, so choose your thoughts wisely. Practice positive self-talk and visualize the future you want to create. Sixty-eighth, cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have, and it attracts more of what you appreciate.

Sixty-ninth, success is more about who you become in the process than what you achieve. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, and the results will follow. Seventieth, leave a legacy that goes beyond material wealth. Aim to positively impact the lives of others, whether through mentorship, kindness, or your contributions to your community.

These lessons aren’t just for success in wealth but for fulfillment in life. Success isn’t a destination—it’s a journey. Keep growing, learning, and becoming the best version of yourself every day.