Change this one thing to change your life.

Recently, I’ve come to a profound realization: I am incredibly entitled, and I’ve made my life more difficult than it needs to be. Over the years, I’ve spent countless hours immersed in YouTube, podcasts, and books, desperately searching for something to help me feel better about my life. The truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve convinced myself that if I just change my morning routine, diet, skincare, relationships, job, or workout schedule, I’ll finally feel better. Yet, we’re all constantly bombarded with messages telling us we’re not enough—that we’re missing something. We see ads, videos, and perfectly curated snapshots of other people’s lives, which expose us to so many different lifestyles. This constant exposure leaves us feeling that we should be more: more successful, productive, relaxed, disciplined, healthy, or creative. We’re also convinced we need to have more: the latest gadgets, clothing brands, or skincare products. It can be overwhelming, and sometimes I shut down, feeling fundamentally inadequate in every aspect of my life.

Smartphones haven’t even been around for 20 years, but the sheer amount of information we now consume has distorted how we view ourselves and our lives. We’re drowning in ads, social media, and news that tell us everything is failing—our lives, our country, our planet. It’s as if we’re endlessly consuming, brainwashed by a capitalism-driven society that thrives on our feelings of inadequacy. Most of us were never taught how to cultivate a mindset based on gratitude. Sure, there’s content out there that reminds us to be grateful, but it’s like searching for a needle in a haystack. Even when we do feel grateful, it’s fleeting. I remember being thrilled when I finally got a full-length mirror, but within days, it became just another thing I took for granted. This pattern repeats itself with new clothes, gadgets, or anything we acquire—at first, we’re obsessed, but soon after, it fades into the background, and we feel entitled to it instead of grateful for it.

I’ve come to realize how spoiled I am. I’m 27, living with my parents, and while I sometimes feel embarrassed by that, I’m incredibly blessed to have their love and support. They’ve provided me with a soft place to land when things didn’t go according to plan. But even with that, I find myself wanting more. When I lived in my own apartment, I wished for a bigger space or roommates. When I had roommates, I took them for granted and longed for solitude. Nothing is ever enough until you decide it is. I spend a lot of time criticizing myself, especially my body. But recently, I’ve tried to reframe that by taking stock of what I have—my body, my senses, my health—and imagining life without them. The realization of how much I take for granted made me feel powerful and grounded. It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong but appreciating what we have right now can change everything.

The simple act of practicing gratitude, of truly appreciating what we often overlook, has deeply healed and grounded me. I’m learning that everything I have and everything I am is enough. Life is good, and I am incredibly blessed. As I write this, I look around and see things I once longed for—like the plants in my room or the lamp on my nightstand—and realize how peaceful my surroundings are. I could be living in a war zone, but I’m not. I’m safe, and that’s yet another thing I’ve taken for granted. When you lean into gratitude, life can feel overwhelming in the best possible way. It’s made me feel so much lighter, even though nothing has changed except my perspective.

But I also want to acknowledge that gratitude isn’t a cure-all. Sometimes, forcing ourselves to be grateful when we’re feeling sad or angry can backfire. I’ve found myself trapped in a cycle of getting angry at myself for not feeling grateful when I thought I should be. In trying to be more positive, I was actually being more negative, beating myself up for emotions I couldn’t control. It’s important to lean into your feelings, whether they’re positive or negative, rather than force a sense of gratitude when it doesn’t feel genuine. Being kind to yourself is key. Yes, it’s important to practice gratitude, but it’s equally important to honor how you truly feel. Trying to force yourself to be positive when you’re not can lead to cognitive dissonance and make you feel worse. It’s okay to be sad, angry, or even self-pity sometimes. Feel your feelings; don’t fight them.

Ultimately, life is about balance. It’s not about being grateful all the time or pretending everything is perfect. But when we can genuinely appreciate what we have, it can transform how we see ourselves and the world around us.

This journey of self-reflection has made me realize how vital it is to strike a balance between gratitude and the full spectrum of emotions we experience. Life is not about pushing away negative feelings in an attempt to always be positive—doing so can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion. Forcing positivity, especially when it’s not aligned with how you truly feel, only deepens the internal struggle. I’ve found that, instead of beating myself up for not always feeling grateful or happy, it’s healthier to simply allow those difficult emotions to surface, process them, and let them pass naturally.

For a while, I fell into the trap of toxic positivity—the idea that you always have to be upbeat, cheerful, and grateful, even when you’re struggling. It’s exhausting to hold yourself to that standard. You start to feel guilty for not being able to maintain it, as if you’re failing at life just because you’re feeling sad or anxious. But I’ve realized that emotions are not something to “fix.” Sadness, frustration, and even anger are all part of the human experience, and it’s okay to feel them. By allowing myself to lean into those emotions without judgment, I’ve found a kind of freedom. It’s like a weight has lifted, and I’m no longer constantly at war with myself.

This shift in perspective doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned gratitude—it’s quite the opposite. I’ve learned that gratitude is most powerful when it’s authentic and arises naturally, not when it’s forced or used to suppress other feelings. In moments of stillness and reflection, I can appreciate what I have more fully, without the pressure to feel a certain way all the time. It’s in these quiet moments that I notice the small things—the warmth of the sun on my skin, the comfort of a good meal, or the support of people who care about me.

I also think it’s important to recognize that gratitude and self-compassion go hand in hand. I used to think gratitude was about focusing solely on external things—like the material possessions or circumstances I should be thankful for. But now I see it’s also about being kind to myself, acknowledging my own resilience, and appreciating my growth. I’m starting to appreciate the person I am, even if I don’t always feel like I’m enough. There’s so much power in giving yourself grace.

In the end, gratitude is not about ignoring the challenges we face or pretending that everything is perfect. It’s about finding peace in the present moment, despite the imperfections. It’s about recognizing that while life will never be flawless, there’s still so much beauty and goodness in it. We don’t have to wait for some elusive “perfect” time to start feeling grateful. We can start now, exactly where we are, with everything we have and everything we are.

I’ve come to understand that the key to feeling more grounded and content isn’t about endlessly chasing after the next thing that promises happiness. It’s about cultivating a sense of sufficiency and recognizing that right now, in this very moment, we have enough and we are enough. The pursuit of more—more success, more possessions, more validation—can easily lead us away from what really matters. I’ve learned that it’s okay to slow down, to breathe, and to appreciate the life I have, even with its messiness and flaws.

This realization hasn’t changed everything about my life, but it’s changed how I approach it. I’m no longer consumed by the feeling that I need to fix or perfect myself. Instead, I’m focused on being more present and appreciative of what is, rather than what isn’t. I still have days where I struggle—days when I feel down, unmotivated, or disconnected—but those days don’t define me. I’ve learned to be patient with myself, to ride out the waves of emotion without trying to force things to be different.

Ultimately, life is a journey of ups and downs, and learning to embrace both the good and bad is essential. Gratitude has its place, but so do all the other emotions that make us human. It’s about balance, about allowing ourselves to feel deeply and honestly, without judgment. And through that, I’m finding peace—not because everything in my life is perfect, but because I’m learning to see the perfection in its imperfection.