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Exposing Social Media’s Biggest LIES (20 Min of Pure DE influencing)
De-Influencing: Finding Contentment Beyond Social Media’s Pressure
Ark
May 24, 2025
Hi, I’m Jess, and I create content about cultivating contentment, slow living, minimalism, and intentional motherhood. Everywhere we turn, we’re bombarded with messages telling us our homes aren’t beautiful enough, we don’t earn enough, our kids lack the toys to be happy, or we’re not skinny, pretty, or flawless enough. Today, I’m here to de-influence you just a bit—to peel back the glossy veneer of social media and share some honest thoughts from my heart. Let’s dive in.
Home Decor: Prioritizing Values Over Aesthetics
This is my home—our first home, bought with love but far from perfect. We live in the heart of a noisy city, under an airport’s flight path, with constant noise pollution and a high crime rate nearby. Our furniture? Mostly thrifted, deeply discounted, or gifted from friends early in our marriage. We haven’t replaced much because my husband and I have big financial goals: we dream of buying land and building a house where our kids can run free. That dream, though not yet tangible (especially here in California), shapes our decisions.
Right now, our Christmas tree is still up, toys are scattered across the floor, and my daughter just recovered from a virus that kept us up all weekend. Social media might tell you a beautiful home requires a perfectly curated aesthetic, but I’ve learned that what matters most is how my daughter feels here. A home’s warmth comes from the relationships within it, not the furniture. I want people—especially my daughter—to feel safe and welcome, not worried about breaking something or making a mess. A Pinterest-worthy home means nothing if it’s built on debt or strained relationships. For us, contentment lies in aligning our choices with our values, not society’s expectations.
Our One-Car Family: Embracing Simplicity
We’re a one-car household. Our trusty, used car has quirks—like a door that only opens from the inside. My husband works from home, which makes this setup work, but even as we plan to expand our family, we’re sticking with this car. No upgrades, no loans. Our value is clear: we only buy what we can pay for in cash, even if it means squeezing two kids (and my hips) into a cramped backseat.
People often ask, “What are you going to do about the car?” as if a new minivan is a given. But for us, it’s not. This isn’t about judging anyone who chooses a new vehicle—it’s about resisting the pressure to let comparison dictate our choices. Social media fuels FOMO, making it easy to take out loans for things we can’t afford. Instead, we’re intentional, riding this car until it can’t go anymore.
Baby Items: Focusing on What Truly Matters
Preparing for a baby in the U.S. often means curating the perfect nursery, with social media pushing elaborate setups and “must-have” gear. But I find it ironic that, despite this focus on stuff, our country struggles with poor maternal health outcomes, low breastfeeding rates, and inadequate postpartum support. In other cultures, the emphasis is on the mother—helping her transition through rituals like a mother’s blessing. Historically, we’ve known that a baby’s greatest need is a present, supported mom.
When I had my daughter, we invested in a birth center delivery and a few lactation consultant sessions to ensure successful breastfeeding. We skipped the fancy gear; she co-slept with us, and our postpartum was far from Instagram-worthy. But my needs were met, and I could pour into her. Social media might say your baby needs special rockers or swaddles, but what they really need is you—present and supported.
We live in an information economy, and I love that we can share knowledge online. But social media often delivers half-truths—decontextualized, polarizing snippets designed for clicks. I learned this firsthand building an online health business at 20. Extreme, simplistic claims (like “dairy causes acne”) sell, but they lack nuance. Health is complex, influenced by individual factors like gut health or food quality. Consuming these soundbites can leave us chasing solutions without understanding the full picture.
This culture of oversimplification affects how we think, pushing us toward black-and-white conclusions. As consumers, we must approach information critically, seeking context and resisting the urge to follow trends blindly.
Minimalism and Identity: Breaking Free from Aesthetic Traps
I built a 10-item wardrobe as a minimalist experiment, not out of some noble cause. But it taught me something profound: it stripped away the temptation to tie my identity to what I wear. Social media sells aesthetics—“that Christian girl,” “that gym girl”—promising that buying certain clothes or products will make us lovable or acceptable. We often perpetuate this ourselves, posting to prove we belong, unknowingly marketing these ideals, and leaving others feeling left out.
People ask how I’m not bored with a capsule wardrobe. It’s not about never buying new things; it’s about resisting the cultural pull to chase novelty. Social media bombards us with “hauls” and new purchases, training our brains to crave the high of “new.” But constantly buying clothes we don’t need overwhelms our closets and ties our worth to externals. I love clothes that make me feel beautiful, but my identity isn’t in them—it’s in who I am inside.
Final Thoughts: Finding True Enrichment
Beyond basic needs—shelter, clothing, nourishment—the things that enrich my life most aren’t bought. They’re in relationships, in creating a home where people feel loved, in pursuing goals that align with our values. Social media can make us feel inadequate, but contentment comes from living intentionally, not chasing someone else’s highlight reel.
Thanks for joining me in this de-influencing journey. If you enjoyed this, let me know in the comments, and I’ll see you in the next one!
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