I got addicted to getting rejected (you should too)

Overcoming Fear of Rejection: How Getting Rejected Changed My Life

Author

Ark
June 04, 2025

The Fear That Held Me Back

For the longest time, I was paralyzed by the fear of failure. I avoided risks at all costs, thinking that steering clear of rejection would keep me safe. But in doing so, I was also avoiding success. My life was stagnant—no big wins, no bold moves, just a comfortable but unfulfilling routine. Everything changed when I decided to face that fear head-on, and it all started with a seemingly crazy idea: applying to Harvard as a joke.

The Harvard Experiment

I applied to Harvard not because I thought I’d get in but to prove to myself that rejection wasn’t the end of the world. To my shock, I didn’t just get rejected—I was waitlisted. While I didn’t end up attending, that experience shattered my limiting beliefs. It showed me that taking risks, even ones that seem outlandish, could lead to unexpected opportunities. That moment flipped a switch in my mindset, and I decided to start seeking rejection intentionally.

Why Rejection Is the Key to Success

Imagine you’re walking through a field, like I am right now, aiming for a goal in the distance—let’s call it success. If you only chase acceptance, you’re walking in circles. You’re playing it safe, avoiding risks, and never moving forward. But when you embrace the possibility of rejection, you take bold steps toward your goal. Sometimes you’ll fail, but each attempt moves you closer to where you want to be.

It’s like this: seeking acceptance keeps you stuck, but seeking rejection propels you forward. I started getting rejected on purpose—every single day—and it transformed my life. A year ago, I was in a completely different place. Now, I’m living a life I never thought possible, all because I stopped fearing “no.”

The Trap of Overthinking and Underacting

Many of us fall into one of two traps: over-researching or over-acting without learning. Some people read self-improvement books, watch videos, and consume endless content but never take action. They’re walking in circles, learning but not moving. Others take action relentlessly but never pause to learn or adjust their approach—like working hard at the same job for decades without growth.

The solution? Balance action with learning, and most importantly, embrace rejection. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re not getting rejected enough. Rejection is a sign you’re trying, and trying is what moves you forward. So, stop overthinking, stop waiting for perfection, and start acting—messily, if you have to.

Essentialism: Focus on What Matters

Another game-changer for me was embracing essentialism. Life can feel overwhelming when you’re juggling a thousand tasks, hobbies, and obligations. But trying to do everything scatters your energy, leaving you stuck. The most successful people focus on one goal and take consistent steps toward it.

Ask yourself: What can you remove from your life? Maybe it’s a hobby you don’t enjoy, like yoga you only do because your friend loves it. Cut it out. Free up that hour to focus on what truly matters. By narrowing your focus, you’ll make real progress instead of spinning your wheels.

Messy Action Beats Perfect Planning

Perfectionism is the enemy of progress. I used to think everything I did had to be flawless—every video, every pitch, every project. But perfect planning often leads to no action at all. Messy action, on the other hand, gets results.

Take this article, for example. I didn’t want to write it. I could’ve spent hours scripting the perfect piece, but instead, I’m just getting it out there—raw and real. That’s messy action. It’s not perfect, but it’s moving me forward. And it’s why I’ve posted over 3,000 videos online, even if most only get 200 views. I don’t measure success by views; I measure it by the action I take.

How I Built My Success

One of my proudest achievements was being featured in USA Today. How did it happen? By posting TikTok videos every single day. I set a goal to build my personal brand, knowing it would help me sign more clients as a social media coach. My job is to help people grow their following without spending all day online, and I do it by posting simple, authentic content—like this.

The key was taking consistent, imperfect action. I didn’t wait for the perfect lighting or script. I just posted. And that messy action led to opportunities I never could’ve planned for.

The Rejection App: Turning “No” Into Progress

My fear of failure used to keep me stuck in a $12-an-hour job. I avoided risks, thinking that would protect me. But I was wrong. So, I created Rejecto, an app to track rejections and reframe them as progress. Now, I pitch clients for $12,000 projects. If they say no, I log it in the app and move on. But often, they say yes—and that’s how I’ve grown my income.

Rejection isn’t failure; it’s evidence you’re moving. The more you seek it, the more you’ll find opportunities that others miss because they’re too afraid to ask.

How to Start Today

Here’s your action plan to transform your life:

  1. Define Your Dream Life: Write down your craziest goals. Want a house? A new job? A thriving business? Get specific about what your dream life looks like.

  2. Identify Action Steps: For each goal, list one concrete action you can take to move closer. Want to buy a house? Maybe it’s posting a video daily to grow your income. Want a new job? Apply for one that scares you.

  3. Embrace Rejection: Seek out opportunities where you might get rejected. Apply for that dream job. Pitch that big client. Post that first video. The “no”s don’t matter; the action does.

  4. Track Your Progress: Use an app like Rejecto (available on the Android app store) to log your rejections. Celebrate them—they mean you’re trying.

  5. Take Messy Action: Stop waiting for perfection. Post that video, send that email, and make that call. Do it today. Tomorrow doesn’t exist.

The Power of Action

I’ve read over a hundred self-improvement books, and they all boil down to one thing: action. Whether it’s building a business, going viral on social media, or buying your dream home, success comes from moving, not thinking. The people who win are the ones who act—boldly, consistently, and without fear of rejection.

So, shut off this article. Make your list. Take your first step. Apply for that job. Post that video. Ask for what you want. You’ve got this—go do the thing.

#Innovation #Leadership #Entrepreneurship #DigitalMarketing #Technology #Career #Networking #Business #Motivation #FutureOfWork

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