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Running Away Doesn’t Fix You: A Personal Journey in Bangkok

Introduction

Have you ever dreamed of escaping your reality, hoping a new place will magically solve all your problems? I did. My name is Vera, and I moved to Bangkok, Thailand, thinking it would transform my life. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. This isn’t a story about blaming Bangkok or villainizing a vibrant city. It’s about my realization that running away from problems doesn’t work when the real issue is within you. Here’s my story, raw and unfiltered, about mental health, unmet expectations, and the lessons I learned.

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The Dream of Bangkok

When I moved to Bangkok, I was thrilled. The city promised excitement, new experiences, and a fresh start. My social media posts and YouTube videos painted a picture of happiness—smiling selfies, vibrant street scenes, and all the aesthetic vibes. But behind the curated posts, the reality was far less glossy. I thought moving to a bustling city would fix everything, but I was wrong. The problem wasn’t my environment; it was my mental health.

The Honeymoon Phase

The first two months in Bangkok were a high. Everything felt new and exciting. I was optimistic, exploring the city, and soaking in the energy. But as the novelty faded, so did my positivity. I started feeling depressed, overwhelmed by the sense that I wasn’t making the most of my time in Bangkok. I compared myself to others—people who seemed to be thriving, networking, and living their best lives. This comparison trap fueled my anxiety, and soon, I was caught in a vicious cycle.

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Social Anxiety and Isolation

Attending language school daily was a challenge I didn’t anticipate. As a naturally shy and reserved person, I struggled with social interactions. What started as manageable discomfort grew into overwhelming stress. I dreaded classes, longing to retreat to my condo and avoid people altogether. This isolation deepened my depression, creating a loop of negativity. Even on good days, the bad ones seemed to dominate.

One small victory was getting braces to fix a tooth that made me self-conscious. It was a step toward feeling better about myself, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to “glow up,” meet new people, and grow my YouTube channel, but my social anxiety held me back. I didn’t put in the work I needed to, and that realization stings.

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The Illusion of a New Environment

I moved to Bangkok thinking the hustle and bustle would help me blend in, maybe even hide. But the city’s vibrant, colorful crowds made me feel more self-conscious than ever. I thought a new place would heal me, but I didn’t realize healing required effort. I expected Bangkok to do the work for me, but no city, no matter how exciting, can fix your mental health on its own.

Lessons Learned

Looking back, I see where I went wrong. My environment didn’t change me because I didn’t change myself. Happiness is my responsibility, not the job of a city or its people. Social media can make life look perfect, but it’s rarely the full story. Bangkok wasn’t the problem—I was. A new place can inspire or support healing, but it won’t do the heavy lifting for you. The highs of a new adventure often come with lows, and without addressing the root issues, those lows can hit hard.

Advice for Others

If you’re considering a big move to escape your problems, take it from me: prioritize your mental health first. Moving abroad can be an incredible adventure, and I don’t regret my time in Bangkok. But don’t expect a new place to fix you. Work on yourself, seek support, and be realistic about what a change of scenery can and can’t do. Your problems will follow you unless you face them head-on.

Conclusion

I wasted what I thought would be the best year of my life, not because of Bangkok, but because I didn’t take responsibility for my healing. This isn’t about negativity—it’s about honesty. Moving to a new place is thrilling, but it’s not a cure. If you’re thinking of running away, pause and reflect. Healing starts with you, not a plane ticket. Thank you for reading my story. If it resonates, feel free to share your own experiences or thoughts—I’d love to hear them.

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