If you’re ambitious but lazy... Read this

Overcoming Laziness: Aligning Your Ambitions and Desires

Author

Ark
May 28, 2025

You’re not lazy. You’re scared. Scared that your dreams might be too big, too daunting, or that you’ll fail at something you’re only pretending to want. The truth is, there’s no such thing as a lazy person. Babies aren’t lazy. Animals aren’t lazy (well, except maybe sloths). Laziness isn’t who you are—it’s a behavior, a choice, often rooted in fear or misalignment. The good news? You can condition yourself to make better choices. Let’s explore how by redefining laziness and aligning your ambitions with your true desires.

What Is Laziness, Really?

Laziness isn’t about doing nothing. It’s about a disconnect between what you say you want (your ambitions) and what you actually care about (your desires). Imagine you’re aiming for law school, but deep down, you dread studying law. Instead of hitting the books, you lose yourself in 12-hour gaming marathons. That’s not a lack of effort—you’re putting in plenty of effort in Elden Ring. It’s just not directed toward your stated goal. Laziness, then, is when your actions don’t match your aspirations.

The solution isn’t just about mustering more willpower or discipline. It’s about alignment—making sure your ambitions and desires are in sync. You can either adjust your ambitions to reflect what you truly want or shift your desires to fuel the ambitions you’ve set. Here’s how to do both.

The Lesson of the Empty VIP Tables

In my 20s, I spent way too many nights partying (not something I recommend). Through that scene, I got to know nightclub promoters, including one I’ll call Steve. Steve faced a problem: his club’s VIP tables—those overpriced spots near the dance floor—weren’t selling. Empty tables made the club look lame, like nobody cool wanted to be there. His solution was brilliant. He roped off the tables with red velvet, placed champagne bottles and ice buckets on them, and slapped “Reserved” signs in front, even though no one had booked them. Within an hour, people were clamoring to buy those tables.

The takeaway? We’re wired to chase things that seem valuable, often because we want to impress others. But those things—like an empty VIP table—might have no real value. Ask yourself: Are your ambitions just empty VIP tables? Do you want law school to prove something to your parents? Are you chasing a six-pack to get noticed? The ugly truth is, you can earn approval or attention without wasting years on something you don’t care about. Pete Davidson’s doing just fine without a gym obsession, right?

Step 1: Clarify Your Ambitions. Make sure your goals are yours, not someone else’s. If they’re just for show, they’re empty VIP tables—shiny, but ultimately unsatisfying.

Harnessing the Power of Social Influence

Philosopher René Girard’s mimetic theory of desire suggests we want what others want. Surround an out-of-shape person with fitness buffs, and they’ll start wanting to get healthier. There’s an old saying: You’re the average of the five people closest to you. This can work against you (like wanting a VIP table to look cool), but you can also use it to your advantage.

Step 2: Surround Yourself with the Right People. Find people who embody the qualities or goals you aspire to. Their ambitions will rub off on you. Seeking validation is human nature—you can’t stop it. Instead, seek it from people who inspire you to be better for reasons that matter.

Creating Stakes to Stay Accountable

When I was writing my second book, I was stuck. Deadlines loomed, stress piled up, and I found myself procrastinating—playing video games, traveling, anything but writing. Then I teamed up with a friend, Nearel, who was also struggling with his second book. We made a pact: we’d write together weekly, set goals, and hold each other accountable. If either of us slacked off, we’d owe the other $1,000. The fear of embarrassment (and losing money) kept us showing up. It turned a daunting task into something manageable.

Step 3: Build Accountability Systems. Find people with similar goals and create stakes. Make failing more painful than doing the work imperfectly. Social pressure and incentives can transform your approach, making action feel easier than avoidance.

Mastering Your Ambitions: Aim Smaller

To conquer laziness, you also need to rethink your ambitions. Surprisingly, science suggests that wanting less can help you achieve more. In 1879, Thomas Edison was toiling in his lab, surrounded by failed light bulb prototypes. His team doubted the dream of electric light was even possible. Instead of doubling down on the grand goal, Edison scaled back. He focused on testing one filament at a time, learning from each failure. This shift made the impossible feel doable, and eventually, a carbonized thread filament glowed for minutes, not seconds.

Psychologist Edwin A. Locke found that overly ambitious goals can backfire. If a goal feels unattainable, motivation tanks. But break it into small, achievable steps, and you build momentum. Edison didn’t aim to invent the light bulb in one go; he aimed to learn from 10,000 failures. Each was a small win, a step closer to success.

Step 4: Break Goals into Small Wins. Lower your expectations to what’s doable today. Accumulate small victories over time. This approach not only boosts motivation but also makes the journey more satisfying.

Finding Purpose to Stay Resilient

Small wins sound great, but they come with a catch: you’ll face countless failures and repetitive tasks. To stick with it, you need a deeper reason—a sense of mission or purpose. If your goal is just to impress others, you’ll burn out when setbacks hit. But if it’s tied to something bigger than yourself—a cause you believe in—you’ll find the resilience to keep going.

Edison didn’t just want to invent a light bulb; he wanted to change the world. Each failure was a step toward that mission, not a reason to quit. “I have not failed,” he said. “I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” When your ambitions align with a meaningful purpose, laziness becomes unthinkable.

Step 5: Fuel Your Ambitions with Purpose. Connect your goals to a cause that matters to you. It’ll make the inevitable failures feel like progress, not defeat.

The Path to Unstoppable

You’re not lazy—you’re just misaligned. By clarifying your ambitions, surrounding yourself with the right people, creating accountability, aiming for small wins, and grounding your goals in purpose, you can bridge the gap between what you want and what you do. Stop chasing empty VIP tables. Embrace the failures you’re okay with, the ones that lead to your true desires. When you do, you’ll find yourself not just moving forward, but unstoppable.

#Innovation #Leadership #Entrepreneurship #DigitalMarketing #Technology #Career #Networking #Business #Motivation #FutureOfWork

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