Why you are so tired

I’ve reached a point where I’m always tired. It doesn’t matter if I’ve just woken up, if I’m working, eating, or even having fun. The only time I feel remotely awake is when I should be asleep, and frankly, I’ve had enough. Something has to change. I’ve decided to ditch my phone, find a better way to wake up, and consult a sleep scientist to get to the bottom of this problem. Shoutout to Hostinger for sponsoring part of this video and to our patrons for their support. I have a theory about what’s causing my tiredness, and maybe you do too. But what if this isn’t really a problem? Maybe I’ve been tired my whole life, and yet I’ve managed to reach the glorious state of mediocrity.

I’ve developed some pretty terrible habits. I go to bed at 11:00 p.m. but end up using my phone until 2:00 a.m., only stopping when I can no longer keep my eyes open. Then I wake up at 7:00 a.m. to the sound of an obnoxious alarm, and guess what? I reach for my phone again. What’s wrong with that? Well, as it turns out, quite a lot. A quick search on Google Scholar shows that the relationship between phones and sleep isn’t great. But how bad is bad sleep? I picked up a pop science book hoping for answers, and instead, I found new questions—am I setting myself up for dementia, diabetes, heart failure, or even death? The book paints a scary picture, linking poor sleep to all these outcomes, which is terrifying. While some of the examples felt a bit exaggerated, it did make me realize that sleep is critical to quality of life.

So, I’m doing what everyone tells me to do—I’m putting my phone in another room when I sleep. But there’s a problem: my phone is my alarm clock. To solve that, I’ve gathered a collection of quirky alarm clocks to try different ways of waking up. There’s the Lexon Flip Plus, which you turn over to turn off. The Phillips Sunrise Simulator, which gradually brightens to mimic a sunrise. And even an alarm clock with a bed shaker for the deep sleepers. I went all out—there’s even one that runs away from you so you have to chase it to turn it off.

Day one started with the stinky alarm clock, which woke me up to the smell of onions. Needless to say, it wasn’t a great start. But through these experiments, I’ve realized something interesting—my sleep problems might be more complex than just using my phone at night. In fact, I started reflecting on how I fall asleep in general, whether it’s focusing on soundscapes like a rainy café in the 1970s or staring into the darkness behind my eyelids. It’s clear I need to stop focusing on just one solution and start thinking about the bigger picture.

After a conversation with a sleep scientist, Vanessa Hill, I learned that I might be overcomplicating things. She explained that sleep isn’t about reaching some perfect, utopian level of rest. It’s about being awake enough to function without constantly feeling the need to fall asleep. The science behind sleep is clear: sleep pressure builds throughout the day and, when aligned with our circadian rhythm, helps us fall asleep and wake up feeling rested. My sleep issues likely stem from a disruption in this process due to poor sleep habits, technology use, and even societal expectations about sleep.

After some reflection, I accepted that my sleep problems aren’t entirely caused by my phone. Vanessa made me realize that feeling tired can sometimes have nothing to do with sleep—it could be lack of movement, insufficient daylight, or poor nutrition. So, I’ve decided to give this another week, but this time, I’m making small, manageable changes to my routine. Instead of ditching my phone completely, I’ve set it to airplane mode to avoid doom scrolling before bed. I’ve also started going for morning walks to get sunlight and a bit of exercise.

One week later, I’m happy to report that these small adjustments made a bigger difference than any fancy alarm clock. I’m still tired sometimes, but now, when I feel exhausted, I don’t beat myself up. I stretch, drink water, or take a nap when I need to. I’ve also come to appreciate the moments when I have energy, instead of constantly feeling guilty for being tired. It turns out that managing tiredness isn’t about a single fix—it’s about understanding how sleep fits into the broader context of your health and well-being. And with that realization, I’m finally starting to feel a little more in control.

After making those small adjustments, I started to see that fixing my sleep wasn’t going to happen overnight. But the improvements I noticed, even if minor, gave me hope. My morning walks, for example, helped reset my circadian rhythm and made me feel more connected to the day. I started waking up with a clearer sense of purpose, even if it wasn’t some magical transformation. Just knowing that I was doing something proactive, like getting natural sunlight and giving my body a chance to stretch, felt like progress.

Another big change was how I handled my phone. I wasn’t ready to quit using it entirely, but setting it to airplane mode before bed and avoiding social media late at night definitely helped. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through endless doom and distractions, I switched to listening to relaxing podcasts or audiobooks. This small tweak helped me wind down without the constant barrage of notifications or anxiety-inducing headlines. It also meant that when I did wake up in the middle of the night, I couldn’t just grab my phone and start scrolling again, which was a huge win for my overall sleep quality.

Interestingly, despite all these improvements, I still didn’t feel like a brand-new person. I wasn’t waking up with boundless energy or feeling like I’d cracked the code on perfect sleep. But I had made peace with that. I realized that the goal wasn’t to wake up as a superhuman but to simply manage my energy levels better throughout the day. And on most days, I did. I was able to recognize when I needed a short break, a quick stretch, or even a 15-minute power nap to recharge. That level of self-awareness, rather than some elusive ideal of perfect rest, became my new definition of success.

Over time, I stopped expecting a miracle and started appreciating the small victories. For instance, I noticed I had more free time in the mornings because I wasn’t glued to my phone the moment my alarm went off. I also started valuing my sleep hygiene more. Simple routines like keeping my bed only for sleep, going for that morning walk, and limiting caffeine intake (well, somewhat) began to build up a foundation of better sleep habits.

But this journey also made me reflect on how deeply ingrained societal pressures around sleep are. We’re constantly bombarded with messages about the “perfect” number of hours we should sleep or how our mornings should be filled with productivity hacks to start the day right. But life isn’t always that simple, and sleep certainly isn’t. There are days when I don’t stick to my routine perfectly, and that’s okay. What I learned from talking to experts like Vanessa and diving into research is that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to sleep. Everyone’s body and lifestyle are different, and the most important thing is to create a routine that works for you rather than chasing some unrealistic ideal.

In the end, the biggest takeaway for me was realizing that good sleep isn’t an all-or-nothing game. It’s a combination of habits, awareness, and small tweaks that add up over time. And even if I’m not always waking up feeling refreshed, I’ve gained something much more valuable: the ability to listen to my body and understand what it needs. Whether it’s a nap, a walk, or just a break from my phone, I’m learning to navigate tiredness with a little more grace and less frustration.

So, while I may not have unlocked the secret to boundless energy, I’ve found a routine that gives me a bit more control over my day. And, for now, that feels like more than enough.

One of the most surprising things I discovered throughout this process was just how much guilt I had been carrying around about my sleep habits. For so long, I had been beating myself up for being a “bad sleeper,” convinced that I was doing something fundamentally wrong. This guilt created a cycle of frustration and exhaustion, where I couldn’t appreciate the times when I did feel rested because I was always focused on the negative. I realized that the pressure to “fix” my sleep was holding me back more than my actual sleep quality ever did.

Talking with experts like Vanessa made me see that there’s no universal standard for sleep. What works for one person might not work for someone else, and that’s okay. Sleep isn’t about achieving perfection or waking up like a stock image model every day—it’s about finding a balance that allows you to function and feel good. For me, that balance has been about accepting that some days I’ll wake up tired, and that’s normal. Instead of fighting that tiredness or feeling guilty about it, I’ve learned to listen to my body and give it what it needs in the moment, whether that’s more sleep, a change in my routine, or just some extra self-care.

This shift in mindset also made me realize that sleep is only one piece of the puzzle when it comes to feeling energized. Throughout this experiment, I started paying more attention to how other aspects of my life were affecting my energy levels—things like movement, hydration, and even sunlight. I’d always thought that if I was tired, sleep was the only thing I needed to fix, but that turned out to be a huge oversimplification. By incorporating more movement into my day, whether through short stretches or morning walks, I felt a noticeable boost in my energy. Similarly, making sure I drank enough water throughout the day helped prevent those afternoon slumps that used to feel so inevitable.

In a way, this journey has been about unlearning a lot of the myths I had internalized about sleep. I used to think that if I wasn’t getting eight perfect hours, I was doomed to be tired forever. But now I see that sleep, like everything else, is part of a larger ecosystem of health. Sometimes, the answer to feeling more rested isn’t about forcing myself into bed earlier or buying a new alarm clock—it’s about being kind to myself, staying active, and giving my brain and body the chance to rest and recharge in ways that make sense for my lifestyle.

One week later, I can honestly say I feel better—not perfect, but better. My sleep is far from flawless, and I still have days where I wake up groggy and slow. But I’m no longer obsessing over it or letting it define how I feel about myself. Instead, I focus on what I can control: building small, healthy habits that improve my overall well-being. The consistency of my routine has given me more predictability in my energy levels, and for the first time in a long time, I’m not consumed by the idea that there’s something “wrong” with me because I don’t wake up feeling like a superhero.

And I’ve stopped blaming my phone for everything. Yes, putting it away at night helped a bit, but it wasn’t the magic fix I expected. It turns out there’s a lot more to feeling well-rested than just removing distractions. Sleep is complex, influenced by everything from our daily routines to our mental health. I’ve learned to take a more holistic view of my energy and to stop searching for a one-size-fits-all solution. Life is busy, and sometimes perfect sleep just isn’t in the cards. What matters is that I’m taking small, meaningful steps toward better rest and, more importantly, learning to be okay with where I am in the process.

So, while I’m still figuring things out, I’m no longer overwhelmed by the idea of “fixing” my sleep. Instead, I’m focused on improving how I approach rest, and that has made all the difference. If I feel tired, I take a break, I go for a walk, or I take a nap—and that’s enough. The journey to better sleep is ongoing, but for now, I’m just glad I’m on the path.