Why Your Life Is So Boring: 4 Habits to Find Fulfilment

It’s easy to feel unfulfilled in life when you’re caught in the same routine, day after day. Life, particularly when you have a job, can start to feel stagnant without a clear next step in your journey. This uncertainty can be unsettling—what comes next? Is life destined to be a monotonous cycle of work for the next 30 to 50 years, trying to advance in your career but essentially doing the same things every day? When I reflect on my life, it seems to follow a three-part narrative. The first part was childhood and studying—a time when everything was clearly laid out for me. I always knew the next step. Now, in the middle phase, I’m looking at a long stretch of work, with progression but no major changes or evolution that feel obvious from the outside. The uncertainty of what lies ahead is difficult, and I am certainly feeling that right now. Then comes the third part of the narrative: getting old and having more time to do the things you want, perhaps after retirement, when you have achieved financial stability. But it seems misguided to focus on retirement as a destination for fulfillment. Surely, we should aim to find joy and purpose in our day-to-day lives, even during this middle phase of life.

These thoughts were running through my head just a couple of weeks ago, late at night after a long day, as I walked along a train platform. I had been working tirelessly and was asking myself, “What am I doing?” At that moment, I was listening to an audiobook by Grace Beverley, Working Hard, Hardly Working. She mentioned the concept of self-actualization, a term first introduced by psychologist Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper A Theory of Human Motivation. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs places self-actualization at the very top, after the more fundamental needs like food, safety, love, and esteem are met. The problem with this model, as Grace highlights, is that it makes self-actualization feel like a final destination, something we reach only after completing all the other stages. This can lead us to think that fulfillment is something we achieve later in life, once we’ve reached the “summit” of our personal mountain. But this mindset detracts from the possibility of finding fulfillment daily, of self-actualizing as part of the journey, rather than seeing it as the ultimate goal at the end of a long road.

With that in mind, I’d like to share four habits that I’ve been working on over the past year. These habits are helping me to integrate self-actualization into my daily life so that I can find fulfillment not as a distant goal but as a part of each day. The first habit is making self-actualization a daily action. For me, this means starting each day with a clear intention to find moments of fulfillment. Whether I’m on my commute, walking to the gym, or taking a morning stroll, I actively think about where I can find joy and satisfaction in the day ahead. For instance, at work, I love engaging with senior colleagues and sharing my ideas. Instead of waiting for a future time when I might feel more “qualified” to contribute, I’ve been seeking out opportunities to add value now. I’ve built relationships with colleagues by reaching out after completing tasks, discussing my findings, and establishing myself as someone who can offer meaningful contributions. This gives me a sense of fulfillment in my work today, rather than postponing it for some vague point in the future.

The second key point is that self-actualization doesn’t require every part of your day to be fulfilling. Not everything we do is going to be enjoyable or rewarding, and that’s okay. There will always be tedious or unpleasant tasks, even in the best jobs or most exciting careers. What’s important is to intentionally include the things you love doing and that bring you joy. For example, if you love research, offer to help your colleagues with research tasks. If you enjoy personal interaction, volunteer to take meeting notes, which could also lead to more involvement in the discussions. The point is to find and create opportunities in your daily routine that allow you to do what you’re good at and enjoy, regardless of your current role or stage in life. It’s up to you to take control of these moments and seek fulfillment now, rather than waiting for it to come to you.

Thirdly, it’s crucial to understand that fulfillment doesn’t have to come from a single source. We often hear that we need to find our “passion”—that one thing we love and that will bring us happiness. But the truth is, fulfillment can come from many different areas of life. You can find joy in being a good parent, a supportive friend, or a helpful colleague. You can find fulfillment in small moments, like spending quality time with loved ones or even watching a TV show you enjoy. Once you stop tying your entire sense of self-worth to professional achievement, it becomes much easier to feel fulfilled in multiple aspects of your life. Over the past two years, I’ve focused on broadening my sources of fulfillment, and it has made me much happier.

Another habit that’s been invaluable to me is surrounding myself with a positive circle of influence. This means spending less time with people who are constantly negative or who drain your energy, and more time with those who uplift and inspire you. It also involves being mindful of the media you consume—whether that’s books, podcasts, or social media. Consuming positive content can have a profound impact on how you see the world and your ability to find fulfillment.

Lastly, patience is key. It’s easy to feel discouraged when things aren’t immediately fulfilling, especially when you’re working hard and not seeing results. But fulfillment often takes time to develop. I’ve experienced this with my YouTube channel—after my first few videos, I could have easily given up, thinking the effort wasn’t worth it. But by sticking with it, I eventually found my flow and began to enjoy the process. The same applies to other areas of life—sometimes, the things that are least fulfilling at first can become deeply rewarding over time if you give them a chance.

In conclusion, finding fulfillment is an ongoing process, not a final destination. By building habits that allow you to seek joy and purpose in your daily life, surrounding yourself with positive influences, and being patient with yourself, you can begin to feel more fulfilled in the present, rather than waiting for some far-off future moment.

These habits have transformed the way I approach fulfillment, shifting my mindset from seeing it as a distant, elusive goal to something I can actively create each day. It’s not about waiting for the “perfect” job or life circumstances to feel satisfied, but rather finding ways to experience fulfillment in the present. Whether it’s through meaningful interactions at work, making time for hobbies, or simply appreciating small moments of joy, we all have the ability to self-actualize now.

One of the biggest challenges many of us face is the pressure to be constantly “successful” in conventional terms. Society often tells us that our value comes from achieving major milestones—career promotions, financial security, or material accomplishments. But the truth is, life is not just about climbing a ladder. If we focus solely on the end goal, we miss out on the rich experiences and personal growth that happen along the way. It’s in the process of striving, learning, and connecting with others that we often find the deepest sense of fulfillment.

Take, for instance, the idea of pursuing a passion. While it’s great to have something you love, it’s just as important to recognize that fulfillment can come from multiple sources. You don’t need to limit yourself to one grand purpose. Life is full of various roles and opportunities that can provide meaning, whether it’s your work, relationships, creative projects, or giving back to others. When you open yourself up to finding fulfillment in a variety of areas, you’re more likely to feel satisfied, no matter what phase of life you’re in.

Another crucial point is accepting that fulfillment isn’t about perfection. We often make the mistake of believing that if something doesn’t feel 100% right or enjoyable, it’s not worth pursuing. But in reality, there will always be challenging aspects to any pursuit. Even the most successful people deal with tasks they don’t enjoy or periods of uncertainty. The key is not to let these difficult moments overshadow the bigger picture. If you can find joy in at least some parts of your day and create space for the activities you love, that’s where fulfillment begins to grow.

It’s also essential to be proactive about creating fulfillment, especially if you find yourself in a rut. Too often, we wait for external changes—like a promotion or a new opportunity—to bring us happiness. But fulfillment is something we have to generate from within. It’s about taking small steps toward what brings you joy, whether that’s building new skills, nurturing relationships, or finding purpose in helping others. This proactive mindset empowers you to take control of your happiness rather than waiting for circumstances to change.

And of course, patience plays a massive role in this journey. We live in a world that values instant gratification, but true fulfillment often takes time to develop. Just because you don’t feel deeply satisfied today doesn’t mean you won’t in the future. Sometimes, it takes sticking with something—whether it’s a job, a project, or a relationship—long enough to see the rewards unfold. There will be times when you’re working hard but feel like you’re not moving forward, and that’s okay. If you’re patient and keep pursuing what matters to you, those moments of fulfillment will come.

In sum, finding fulfillment isn’t about waiting for a grand epiphany or reaching a final destination. It’s about building daily habits that bring you closer to your sense of purpose and joy. It’s about understanding that life’s meaning comes not from one single passion or achievement but from a combination of small, meaningful moments that we can actively create every day. By being patient with us, surrounding ourselves with positivity, and finding fulfillment in multiple areas of our lives, we can transform the way we experience the world and make the journey itself a fulfilling one.

To wrap it up, embracing fulfillment as a daily practice rather than an end goal reshapes the way we navigate through life. It’s not about waiting for some distant point in the future where everything aligns perfectly; instead, it’s about cultivating moments of satisfaction, joy, and purpose right now. When we stop seeing fulfillment as something that only comes after we’ve achieved everything else, we open ourselves to a richer, more meaningful existence.

One important takeaway is that fulfillment doesn’t require perfection. In every role we play—whether as a professional, partner, friend, or family member—there will be parts that are difficult, tedious, or downright unenjoyable. But within those challenges, there are always opportunities to create fulfilling moments. By focusing on the aspects of life that give us energy and that make us feel more alive, we can elevate even the most routine days into something more meaningful.

This shift in mindset, where fulfillment is seen as something to be actively pursued on a daily basis, gives us a sense of control. No longer do we have to wait for the perfect circumstances or the right opportunity to feel fulfilled. Instead, we can create it in the here and now, even amidst challenges. This sense of agency is incredibly empowering because it reminds us that we are the architects of our own happiness.

At the same time, we must also embrace patience in our pursuit of fulfillment. There will be times when progress feels slow or when the work, we’re doing doesn’t immediately yield results. But those are the times that call for resilience. It’s easy to get discouraged when we don’t see immediate rewards, but fulfillment often requires us to push through discomfort, trusting that our efforts will eventually pay off. Learning to be patient with the process and with ourselves is key to building a sustainable sense of satisfaction.

Finally, it’s essential to surround ourselves with the right people and influences. Who we spend our time with and what we consume—whether it’s media, books, or conversations—has a profound impact on our mindset. When we align ourselves with individuals who inspire us and consume content that motivates and uplifts us, we become more likely to find fulfillment in our own lives. Conversely, letting go of toxic influences and negativity clears the space for us to focus on what truly matters.

In the end, fulfillment isn’t a single destination or a fixed point on the horizon; it’s something that evolves with us over time. It can be found in the simplest of moments—whether in personal achievements, in connections with loved ones, or in the small victories we experience every day. By focusing on the present, by building positive habits, and by embracing a mindset of growth and gratitude, we create a life that is fulfilling not just in its outcomes but in every step of the journey.

Ultimately, this perspective makes life richer and more rewarding because it encourages us to be present, engaged, and grateful for what we have now while still striving for growth. When we stop chasing after fulfillment as a distant goal and instead invite it into our everyday lives, we realize that the journey itself is the most meaningful part of all.